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When you're in prep, changes in your physique happen on a weekly (and sometimes daily) basis. You can wake up in the morning with new lines that weren't there the night before; veins rising to the occasion after a morning bowl of oats. This is the magic of prep! It's easy to fall in love with your body as you see your hard work paying off on a daily basis. It's, also, very easy to let the drive for your "stage body" overtake your rational thinking. Without a strong support system and the ability to return yourself to reality, the ledge to obsession and disordered eating can almost be enticing to jump.
One of the best pieces of advice I received in my last prep was to avoid social media postings of other competitors. But, why, you might ask? It can be fun, and emotionally boosting to see other women partake in the same process. It's interesting to see how other coaches approach prep, and it's nice to know you're not alone in the "eat every two hours; do lots of cardio; don't drink wine" scenario. It feels like being part of a community or club. The "Girls who eat copious amounts of chicken, but really want doughnuts" club.
On the flip-side: it's hard to not compare your process to someone else's story. Many of the women I competed against were a few years younger than me. Many of them had never had children. Many of them had never had surgeries that require them to take copious amounts of time off to recover, or alter their workouts to avoid further injury and pain. I didn't heed my friend's advice the last time. I followed many of my fellow competitors on Instagram, comparing their progress pictures to mine. At first, I thought it was a great way to keep my motivated. My thinking was: if I knew they were up doing cardio, that would help me get out of bed to do the same. eventually, I started comparing my progress to them. Slowly, it started to eat away at my confidence. Thoughts of "what if I don't lose as much weight as them?" "What if I don't look as lean as them?" I started degrading my own personal progress, stopped competing with my past self and started "competing" against women I had never met! I would cry to my friends and husband, looking for some validation of my own physical progress. I put the responsibility of lifting my self-esteem on them, rather than congratulating myself on how far I had come, simply because I compared my story against a snippet of another's.
I am a curvy girl. Since I can remember, I have always had a rear-end and hips that would make the Kardashians look small. When I lose weight, it always comes off the top first, and I have to spend a great deal of energy to make the bottom match. I have carried and delivered two babies. I have had 3 surgeries in the last 7 years. I was 188lbs at my heaviest. Many 27 year-old's haven't had these experiences. Many of the women I compete with have never thrown away their high school jeans because they couldn't pull them past their knees! But these women and their stories are not why I compete. I compete against myself, to better myself, and to see exactly what it is that I can build. I compete because I believe in being strong, and being proud of what I have built. I remember this as my "why." I remind myself of this "why" every time I perform my weekly check-in. I will remember that this time. I will not obsess over my competitors, and place the responsibility of my mental well-being on those that I love.
We diet hard in prep. Bananas are cut because they are too high in sugar. Dairy, bread, and carrots, too. Diet sodas can constipate you, and cause you to bloat. Red meat only once a week. These are the rules we follow. We obsess over portion control, using a scale to weigh out everything from meat and potatoes, to blueberries and peppers. Every last calorie must count towards your training; there is no room for slack. *This is why bodybuilding attracts ups Type A's* The rigorous diet, the desire to improve, and the wide-reach of social media create a very attractive mix for disordered eating and life-long obsession. Many women and men have come forward, consciously stepping away from the bodybuilding world after identifying their disordered eating habits that have extended beyond prep. Some have decided to become a voice for the many that have yet to identify their symptoms and issues: it can be hard to face the reality, when it has become your life to obsess. As someone who has struggled with their control over eating, I can identify with these men and women. Often times, when we are in the middle of dealing with the chaos that is life, strictly monitoring something so small as our fitness and eating routines can give us the calm feelings of control we so desire. This is why it is so important to stay strong and routinely bring yourself back to reality during prep.
Obsession and disordered eating should not be taken lightly. There are many blogs out there that delve deeper into this aspect of competing, and I encourage anyone who has competed (or is looking to compete) to visit a few. Bodybuilding is an extreme sport. No, you may not break a bone from a hard tackle, or receive a concussion from a blow to the head -although you might twist an ankle in those shoes! It is extreme because of the mental, physical, and emotional strain you put yourself through to get to the end. It is extreme due to the amount of determination it requires from the competitor. If you are thinking about it, go for it! But do yourself a favour, and remember your "why."