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10 weeks out sure doesn't sound like a lot. 10 weeks out, last time, meant I was weighing in at 127 - 7 pounds away from stage weight. This time: I'm weighing in at 145, hoping to continue dropping 1- 2 pounds a week for the next 9 weeks. 2 pounds isn't excessive, but sure as heck means I LOT more cardio! I'm trying to keep in mind that I have put on a lot of muscle in the off-season, and despite what the scale reads, my inches are very similar when compared side-by-side *just goes to show you, the scale isn't always right*
Social media portrays the road to stage in a very warped way: #TransformationTuesdays and #throwbackThursdays make it seem like the process happens over night. In the crunch time (the last 12 weeks) changes are happening on a daily basis; but, the real work happens in the off-season. Some people like to call this the "Bulk season," when really it just happens to be the season where you aren't putting your body into a purposeful caloric deprivation. I'm seeing those small changes -noticing lines that weren't there the day before, a small 4-pack appearing alongside my faint obliques- it's hard not to fall in love with the process, and this "rented" body. It was Kate Moss that said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." That one line singled out so many women, yet continues to circulate on memes of doughnuts, wine, and other delicious treats. While I'm tracking my macros to the very gram of my food, eating as clean as humanly possible, and timing my meals every 2-3 hours (I eat ALL THE BLOODY TIME!) I can't help but note that being stage lean does feel amazing. Heck, I currently feel amazing and I'm only down a few pounds. I'm also, thankfully, not craving anything. Yes, boiled cabbage, grilled chicken, rice -and the occasional berry- is getting old fast. Hot sauce and spices can fix that. And right now, I can't think of any food I would give this all up for.
What I've been reminded of these past two weeks is that this is all a mind game. You work hard for a temporary physique; deprive your body of junk food for 12 weeks; and then put yourself up on a stage for people to ACTUALLY judge your body! This is 16-year-old me's nightmare come true. And yet, in some odd way I love it. My days start at 4:30am. I'm at the gym by 5, do my quick 30-40 minutes of fasted-cardio (which is much different from my MAYBE 30 minutes 3x/week in the off-season) and head back home to get everyone ready for the day. I'm out the door, again, by 7 to drop the kids off at daycare and head to work. I work for 8 hours, pack up, and head out the door to go back to the gym. I spend 30-45 minutes lifting weights: mostly supersets at a weight that pushes me to the point of exhaustion. I pack up and go home to take on my regular duties as "Mom," including cooking dinner, cleaning, bathing kids, more cleaning and tidying, and any other projects I have on the go until I crash around 10:30pm. Repeat. It is a little monotonous. It does require some self-motivation (and a hubby who is willing to kick you out of bed at 4:30 when the alarm goes off.) At this moment, however, this feels manageable.
The next few weeks are going to see some changes to my diet, including carb rotation. My cardio will be split next week, 20 min fasted/20 min at some other point. I'm already feeling drained by the end of my days, so I'm sure this won't help, but in order to avoid hitting a plateau things need to get progressively harder. I'm still only 11 weeks post op, so I am being gentle on my abs with planks, stirring-the-pot, and really focusing on core during my lifts. Hernia's are no joke, and despite my desire to have a 6-pack it isn't worth it to blow my recovery. As scared as I am at this moment of NOT making it to stage: I am really excited!