Dancing Naked
I had a ritual, long before kids, where I would walk around my house naked after a shower and dance. I started this practice after reading an article on how to improve your body confidence. What started out as dancing to one quick song -away from any mirrors- turned into me fully enjoying the idea of being naked, privately, for an extended period of time. And you know what? My confidence grew. Back then, I didn't lift. I was a cardio bunny with cellulite and a lot of jiggly bits; but, that didn't matter. Now, whenever I hear certain songs I am reminded of how damn sexy I felt walking around my house naked, and I stand a little taller.
Since having kids, I don't dance naked anymore. I don't, really, do anything naked. Having a little entourage follow me everywhere, even to pee, has cramped my style. My self confidence waivers on a more dramatic scale the more I cover up. I still desire to live up to personal descriptors such as: healthy, fit, intelligent, sexy, driven, ambitious, intimidating, focused -basically, Robin Wright. I know they are all just words without meaning, unless given weight and power, but I like these words. These eight words shape what I aspire to be, naked or not, and I remind myself of them whenever I start to put myself down.
A word can mean as little or as much as you let it. I used to catch myself, time and again, giving power to words such as "Fat" and "Stupid." When I realized little Boo was parroting my actions I chose to keep those words silent. Old habits die hard and I still say them from time to time internally. I give weight to those words, along with the power to control my mood. We have all done it. Men and women see themselves where they want to be and compare themselves to where they are now; but, instead of encouraging our own efforts we become our worst critics.
The self fulfilling prophecy is the theory that if you believe in something enough, your actions will be altered by your perceived outcome and it will soon come to fruition. Case in point: self sabotage. I believe this theory can explain those that are stuck wishing for their dream to become reality; yet, they do not take action to achieve it simply because they cannot see themselves committing to the change. I see this a lot with those that have come to me asking how I lost my baby weight, or how I can be so committed to my training/education. What I cannot teach someone is that I have learned the power of "I see, I do". I have learned that my actions today are the stepping stones to where I want to be in the future. It's a ripple effect, no matter how slow.
No matter how high my confidence, I still catch myself giving power to negative descriptors. I don't do well with rejection or failure, and as I don't practice naked dancing on the regular I am prone to self criticism (haha). I allow myself to wallow for a short period of time and lick my wounds. In reality, it is what it is. Time has already moved on, which means I'm already late on making a new plan of attack. I remind myself of those 8 "Power Words", pull my socks up, and act like a big girl that is responsible for her own actions. I don't blame others for my failures. I pick up, and keep trucking. This attitude isn't just in my physical health, but in my professional and financial life as well.
I've been in debt. Hell, like most people I have debt! I've been dumped, left with an expensive lease, alone on the other side of the country! I have lost friends, failed courses, and broken a limb or two. I've even sat down and wondered "how does everyone else make it look so easy?" That's life. It will never be perfect. No one has it easy, no matter how perfect it looks from the outside. But, if I put in the effort, I can get myself pretty damn close to my "prefect". Anyone can, if they are willing to put in the effort.
Maybe your goal is to lose 50 pounds. Maybe your goal is your dream job. Maybe you just really want to feel happy. However, you can't just wish upon a star and hope your dreams will come true despite what Walt Disney said. You need to make a decision, for yourself and commit. Create your own self fulfilling prophecy. No one can take those steps for you, and it's time you realized that. What you do is of your own volition. Maybe it starts with asking the right questions, or finding someone to teach you along the way. Maybe it starts with kicking your old, self-deprecating habits to the curb, dancing naked around the house, and telling yourself just how damn sexy you are. No one can provide you with confidence; that's on you. Now get that hot ass in gear and go after what you want, because it isn't coming to you on a silver platter.